Divided Heart Page 8

  Sadness washed away the last of the anger at Mom. As much as I wanted my friend back, I knew this would only end in disaster. And no one else was going to take care of this for me. I had to release Alison, send her on. It was the only way she would have peace.

  “Al,” I whispered. “I’m sorry things turned out this way. Please always know I love you.” Without warning, I reached out with my spirit magic like Gram had taught me and banished her back across to death.

  She shimmered like a candle flame threatening to go out, mouth open in a large ‘O’ of denial before she solidified once again.

  That wasn’t supposed to happen.

  I was too shocked I’d failed to do anything when Alison’s anger rose, terrible and twisted, turning her once-beautiful face into a monster’s mask. “YOU DARE!” She swelled and grew, body distorting like a balloon filled too far, the white light in her eyes bright pin points like stars burning through me. “I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!” Her howl tore at my soul, made me clamp my hands over my ears though it did nothing to save me. This wasn’t a human sound, but one of the spirit, aimed directly at me.

  Charlotte whimpered, shook her head as she caught the edges of the sonic attack, but was helpless against Alison. The echo of my friend rose from the ground, soaring above me as I struggled to come up with something to stop her.

  “She told me you’d try to kill me.” Alison’s voice emerged in a hiss, a knife-blade compared to the hammer of sound she’d just ended. “I should have believed her. And now I do.”

  A small group of normal students emerged from one of the dorms and headed toward us, laughing and talking. I reached out with my power to snag and capture Alison before they could come closer, but she was quicker than me, diving out of my grasp and flying right into their faces.

  They shrieked and scattered, the four girls clearly able to see my friend. Alison vanished in a rush of white light, leaving me to comfort the normal girl who ran right into me, sobbing in terror.

  It took a few minutes to calm the girl down, long enough for her friends to come collect her. By the time they all scampered off, now laughing at their obvious confusion and blaming it on some prank thanks to the memory soothing power of the campus magic, I was in no more of a mood to go back to my dorm than I had been before.

  So when I spotted Rupe and Simon sneaking across the Yard, looking very guilty and arousing my suspicions about where they were going by the way they peeked over their shoulders and kept to the shadows of the trees, I couldn’t resist following.

  ***

  Chapter Thirteen

  Before I could take even one step Charlotte had her hand on my arm and pulled me back.

  “Just where do you think you’re going?” Her voice had taken on the soft growl of her were side. Only then did I realize she’d been through as much as I had today. Left her pack behind, forced to follow me around, she must have been just as frustrated as I felt.

  “The secret society thing, remember?” She’d been there, overheard, I was sure of it. “The Star Club. It’s for witches.” Okay, I was guessing, filling in blanks. “And if Darin is involved, it can’t be good.” Again, guessing. But from the troubled look on Charlotte’s face, she felt the same way I did.

  “We’ll see where they go,” Charlotte said, releasing my arm. “But that’s all.”

  Whatever. “Come on, we’ll lose them.”

  I wished I had time to stow my backpack, but instead was forced to lug it along, the weight bouncing on my back as Charlotte and I jogged across the Yard and toward Widener Library. I caught sight of the boys passing through between the main building and the smaller side libraries on their way to the street. We reached the busy Massachusetts Avenue just as the pair disappeared down a side street, Holyoke.

  I dodged across with Charlotte at my back, slowing as we reached Holyoke. I was just in time, hidden in a patch of shadow, to see my friends climb a narrow set of stairs to a dark painted door and ring the bell. The door opened and the two stepped inside, the portal thudding solidly shut behind them.

  I stood there for a long time, looking up at the tall, narrow building sandwiched in between two others of brick.

  “Planning to knock?” Charlotte’s soft whisper still held humor, but her amusement was as dark as the night sky.

  “Likely.” I found myself hesitating further. It was tempting to go check the place out, but a few things held me back. I didn’t feel any kind of thrall on Simon or Rupe, so Darin wasn’t breaking any witch laws. And if he was willing to let two normals into his Club, who was I to say things were hinky? For all I knew, Darin was just planning some prank against them. Or making them do stupid stuff like I’d heard about fraternities. Just because Darin was a creepy jerk with girl issues didn’t mean he was planning to hurt my friends.

  This really wasn’t any of my business. Why then did I feel so nervous?

  “Let’s go,” I said. With no excuse to check in on Simon and Rupe, and unable to interfere with other witches, I had no other choice. “But we’ll keep an eye on the Star Club. And my friends.”

  The return to my dorm felt like a retreat. I hated backing down.

  At least my room was empty when I returned. Or mostly. A pile of silver fur with burning amber eyes lay on my pillow, pink nose shiny in the light when I turned it on.

  Just the sight of Sassafras sitting there, waiting for me, made tears rise in my eyes. I hurried forward, falling onto the bed to bury my face in his fur, feel the roughness of his tongue on my cheek as he purred in my ear, whole body vibrating with it.

  “I’ve chosen to stay with you for a time,” he said softly. “It’s quieter here. Not as much Council running about.”

  “What about Meems?” I wanted to be selfish, but the thought of my little sister all alone broke my heart.

  “She has friends over all the time,” he said. “Noisy little things, chattering into the night. I could use the rest.”

  I hugged him, scratching his cheeks, his ears while he rolled over on his back to let me rub his tummy.

  “Thanks,” I whispered, a single tear falling to sparkle on his fur.

  “I missed you too,” he said. “And I know how hard this is. How lonely. I don’t want you to feel like we’ve all abandoned you.”

  I stroked the teardrop from his silky coat. “You’re the best, Sass.”

  He flipped over and head-butted my cheek. “I know,” he said. “Now, don’t you have some homework or some such to attend to? You’re disturbing my nap.”

  It was so hard not to squeal and squeeze him as punishment, but I resisted.

  Barely.

  ***

  Chapter Fourteen

  One thing about not being alone anymore, it convinced me I needed to do something about Sashenka. After a brief discussion with Sassafras, it was apparent I wouldn’t get anywhere if I didn’t know why she hated me in the first place.

  “Grow a spine,” he said with his personal brand of subtlety. “If you want to know something, ask already.”

  Okay then. The moment the door creaked open, Sashenka’s nervous face peeking through, I was ready for her.

  “We need to talk.” She flinched at my words, but entered, head down, book bag falling to the floor at her feet with a thud as she pushed the door shut behind her.

  “I know,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”

  “For not liking me?” I shrugged, going for couldn’t-care-less casual. “Whatever. But won’t room with you if you can’t even be civil.”

  Sashenka’s eyes flew wide and she opened her mouth to speak, a few consonants stuttering out, but I cut her off.

  “I have no idea what I did to piss you off,” I said, “and frankly, at this point, I don’t really care. I thought we were kind of friends, but if Tallah or my mother pushed you into something you really didn’t want to do, I understand.” I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Believe me, I understand. Welcome to my life.”

  Sashenka just stood there, trembling, tears standing in her ey
es. It took a great deal of effort not to walk up to her and shake her out of whatever kept her frozen.

  I think you’ve underestimated your effect on her. Sassy’s mental voice had a softness to it I rarely heard. I don’t think it’s that she doesn’t like you, Syd.

  I shoved his thoughts aside and went on. “If you want a new roommate, fine. I’ve already talked to Mom about it. She wants me to give it one more try, but it’s pretty obvious where this is going. So I’ll tell her in the morning. Unless you want me out tonight.” It pissed me off, the thought I’d be the one to leave. But I’d take it. At least I could go stay with Charlotte for one night. Or, heaven forbid, my mother.

  Instead of answering, Sashenka threw herself on her bed and burst into sobs.

  What?

  All my anger melted away, taken over by confusion and a little guilt. “What did I say?”

  Sashenka was sobbing so hard while she tried to talk I couldn’t understand her words. Probably wouldn’t have been able to even if her face wasn’t shoved into her pillow, she was so hysterical. Sassafras hopped down and padded his way to her, leaping up with a soft grunt to purr in her ear. Sashenka finally rolled over and hugged him while he cleaned her wet cheeks with his tongue. Part of me felt a jab of jealousy. He was my cat, damn it. The rest of me was just glad my friend was able to calm the girl down before she imploded.

  “I’m s-s-sorry,” she stuttered around choking gasps of air. “I’m trying so hard, Tallah said this was really important and I really do like you, I’ve liked you since we met and Tallah does too, but she said I had to try hard to make you like me and I r-r-ruined it all.” Her final word trailed off into a wail of despair, the l’s lingering long after she pressed her face into Sassy’s fur and wept.

  Oh boy. So I’d mistaken dislike and avoidance for... well. I perched on the edge of her bed and rubbed her back, feeling like a horrible person for judging her the way I had. “I’m the one who’s sorry,” I said. “I thought you hated me.”

  Sashenka shook her head violently. “Ever since you shared your magic with me,” she sniffled, “I’ve wanted to be your friend.”

  I’d slipped up, the day Mom’s trial started, shared magic with her when I was only supposed to with her leader sister, Tallah. “I felt the same way,” I said. “I was hoping we could be friends. I’ve never really had a witch friend before.” Pathetic.

  Sashenka sat up, Sassy in her lap, his steady purr an undercurrent to our talk. I knew his purr had calming properties, but now I understood how devious he could be. A thread of demon magic ran through it, cooling her down, helping her focus even as she was compelled to stroke his fur over and over.

  Tricky little furball. How often had he used that sneaky skill on me and I’d never known?

  One amber eye winked at me.

  “I just wanted everything to be perfect,” Sashenka said, oblivious to what my cat was doing to her. “But every time I tried to talk to you, I froze up.” She shook her head, refusing to look at me, black hair falling over her dark cheek. “I’m such an idiot.”

  “No,” I said. “You’re not. I am. I should have known they put pressure on you.”

  She finally glanced up, a little smile on her face. “The pressure is all mine,” she said. “I’ve always tried too hard. Comes from being second sister in a leading family. Or so Tallah tells me.”

  Huh. I immediately thought of Meira. Did my little sister feel the same way? Did she try too hard to fit in because she knew she’d never lead her own coven?

  “You’re just so powerful,” Sashenka let out in a huff of breath. “Everyone is afraid of you, of what you’ve done, what you can do. And your family.” Her deep brown eyes locked on mine, full of so much open honesty I knew I was finally seeing the real Sashenka. “I just didn’t want to mess up. I know you can’t have many friends, being who you are. I’ve watched you all day, in class. How they treat you.” She hiccupped softly. “I wanted to reach out, but you looked so strong, like you didn’t need anyone...”

  Yeah, way to be all brave and stuff, Syd.

  I felt laughter rising inside me and couldn’t stop it. “You have no idea.”

  Sashenka wiped her nose on the sleeve of her shirt, forehead pinched in concern. “What do you mean?”

  I could have backed off, just said screw it. The poor girl had been through enough already, hadn’t she? She didn’t need me to unload all of my crap on her.

  Yes, Sassafras sent, tail flicking. She does.

  Okies. For the next hour I let her have it, every single fear, worry, judgment, resentment, anger, you name it, she heard it, from my frustration with Quaid and Liam to the disgusting smarminess of the Dumont brothers to the creepy Darin and his stupid Star Club.

  I might have been worried at first this would be too much for Sashenka, but the longer I went on, the more she nodded and murmured her sympathy and relaxed until I understood Sass was right. This was exactly what she needed.

  To see you’re human, he sent. Or, mostly.

  Smart ass cat.

  After I was done, we sat there in quiet for a bit while Sashenka reached out and took my hand, squeezing it gently. “I had no idea it was so hard for you.”

  I laughed then, feeling lighter and actually a little ashamed of myself, the way I’d been acting and thinking. “We all have our crap,” I said. “Right?”

  She flushed, dark skin rosy. “Yes,” she said. Sighed. “I could just strangle Tallah sometimes.”

  We laughed together. This was more like it. Sashenka’s smile stayed in place, a real smile, nothing fake about it, as she let go of my hand.

  “A few of us are going out later,” she said. “If you’d like to come?”

  I hesitated immediately. I didn’t want to ruin things for her and her friends. She might be understanding, but if what she said was true, would I make the others uncomfortable? The idea anyone was afraid of me almost made me giggle.

  You won’t know if you don’t try. Sassafras leaped down from Sashenka’s lap and waddled his fat cat body over to my bed where he hopped up and curled into a fluffy ball on my pillow.

  I took the hint.

  ***

  Chapter Fifteen

  It was my first visit to the campus café and I had to admit I felt pretty nervous, even with Sashenka beside me and Charlotte guarding my back. The place was packed with other students, mostly freshmen from the excited looks on their faces. I almost backed out when the stares and whispers started all over again, but by then a small group of girls were waving and smiling at us and Sashenka had a firm grip on my hand, pulling me toward them, Charlotte standing off to one side and doing her best to look like a statue.

  “Syd,” my roommate gushed, “these are the girls. Girls, meet Sydlynn Hayle.”

  They stared a little, but were still smiling. The one on the right of the table with the curly dark hair and the palest skin I’d ever seen, offered her hand.

  “Josie Ambrose,” she said. “Hensley family. Nice to meet you.”

  That broke the ice. All at once I was introduced to Nicci Mortimer (dirty blonde hair and a hand full of freckles on her cheeks), Donalda Pierce (tall and skinny, all elbows and knees though her long face was pretty because of her wide gray eyes) and Tippy Meeks (luscious red hair and curves I envied).

  They pulled up an extra chair for me and proceeded to chatter on like I’d been their best friend forever. It was a little freaky, but pretty awesome at the same time. Though I admit after about a half hour of giggling over the latest movie star or peering at fashions I’d never be caught dead in on the screens of their iPhones, I was feeling a little overwhelmed.

  “Don’t look now, but there’s the Dumont brothers.” Donalda actually snorted, long, thin nose twitching as if she’d smelled something awful that turned her stomach.

  Tippy batted her long lashes, popping a large pink bubble from the gum she chewed with excessive aggression. “Too bad,” she said. “All that jerk trapped in those delicious bods.”


  Sashenka giggled while I glared across the cafe at Jean Marc and Kristophe. Both waved at me, Kristophe tossing back his blond hair to blow me a kiss before striking one of his model poses.

  “Seriously,” Nicci rolled her eyes, lips wrapped around the straw of a soda as she looked heaven-ward. “No way, even if they suddenly turned nice. Gross.”

  Good to know I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t stand them. “They think they’re all that.”

  Tippy leaned forward and grabbed my hand, showing off a bit more of her substantial cleavage than I would have liked. “Girl,” she said, “I heard you’ve had some run-ins. Are they the kings of ew or what?”

  “Totally.” I found myself laughing despite the fact the Dumont brothers normally elicited anything but amusement from me. “Smarmy is the nicest word I can come up with.”

  The girls all giggled, and even Charlotte let out a soft laugh. Holy. Did I really make friends just like that? I had to thank Sashenka later. And Sass for making me deal with this.

  I had to work on my trusting people skills.

  Tippy flipped a wave at the boys. But when Kristophe winked at her and moved to join us Tippy’s salute turned into a very rude gesture involving one very specific finger. I laughed out loud, eyes locked on the brothers as Kristophe scowled and turned away.

  I know they would have left on their own. I felt the cold wave of disapproval heading their way, coming from most of the patrons of the cafe. It amazed me to realize no one really liked them.

  How awesome was that?

  I think that’s why I cringed when Mia stormed into the cafe, blue eyes ablaze, and stomped her way up to the brothers. The ranting shrieks of fury following were enough to make everyone wince and turn away, pretending not to watch as the Dumont leader proceeded to make a fool of herself. The brothers slunk off halfway through her screamfest and she followed them, still shouting orders at the top of her lungs which could be heard even through the door as it closed behind her.