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I was very hurt when no one else stood up. Oh really? Wow.
How nice. Some friends.
The rest of the day passed in a swirl of darkness and self-pity. How could they choose Benjamin over Blood? Or me for that matter? What was wrong with them? The guy was obviously some manipulative jerk. Anyone could see he leeched all over Pain. Why didn’t they?
I was stomping my way home when I spotted Benjamin hanging around the park down the street from my place. He moved forward the moment I came close, that smile still plastered to his face.
“Hi, Syd.”
Did he have the nerve to just talk to me? I brushed past him with a snarky, “Whatever.”
“I don’t understand.” His tone made me stop. Turn around. He wasn’t smiling anymore. He looked sad. So what?
“Sorry?” What was there to understand?
“Why you don’t like me?” He didn’t move, hands shoved in his pockets, enough sincerity shining in his eyes to light up a house. Yeah, real genuine.
“Hmm, let’s see,” I said. “Maybe it has something to do with you hurting Blood. He loves Pain, you know.”
Benjamin shrugged. “I can’t help it if we have a deeper connection. But that’s not it, is it? That’s simply an excuse.”
Why did he talk like he was giving a lecture?
“Look,” I said, “I don’t have to like you. It’s not a prerequisite to life or school or anything else. So find some of your own friends and leave me and mine alone.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” he said, smile returning. “They really like me. And I like them. I think I’ll keep them.”
My demon howled for me to act. To throw his skinny ass down on the pavement and pound the smile off of his face. It shocked me. I wasn’t a violent person, not unless my life was at risk. But this wave of hate and anger almost overwhelmed me.
“We’ll see.” It was the best come back I could muster under the circumstances, spit out through a jaw clenched so tight I was sure I’d shatter a few teeth.
I turned and walked away from him, feeling his eyes boring into the back of my head all the way home.
What was his problem? Why did he have to have my friends? And why didn’t I like him? There was something there, more than his smile, his attitude. Something sat underneath the façade of who Benjamin appeared to be and who he really was. Maybe he did this at every school he went to. Find a vulnerable group and take them over.
A sociopath. No empathy, just a controlling creep who did this kind of stuff for kicks. I hoped Alison and the others would see through his crap soon. It had only just started and was already getting old.
***
Chapter Seven
Mom actually gasped and spun around when I walked in the kitchen, staring at me with her huge blue eyes like I’d attacked her or something. Craptastic. I realized I had to be broadcasting again. Roping in my magic was still hard.
“Syd,” she said. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I grumped. “Sorry.”
She stepped forward, tried to hug me, but I wasn’t in the mood to be comforted.
I escaped her and ran up to my room, spending the next several hours trying to focus on my homework while avoiding my mother’s mental questions about how I was and why I radiated so much anger. I finally managed to put a cap on it when Sassy marched into my room, fur standing on end.
“Sydlynn,” he snapped, amber eyes glowing amber with demon fire, “pull yourself under control before I do it for you. You’re disrupting the entire household.”
Fine. I slapped up some shields, used my magic to shove him out my door and slammed it behind him.
It wasn’t fair! Because it wasn’t my fault. I collapsed on my bed, feeling miserable, wishing I could make the whole Benjamin thing go away.
I felt him outside my door before Uncle Frank even knocked.
“What?” Muffled from under my pillow.
My door creaked, but he entered silently. The side of my bed depressed as he lifted the pillow free and smiled down at me.
“Hey, Syd,” he said. “Bad day?”
I loved my Uncle Frank. He may have been a vampire, but he had the biggest, warmest heart of anyone I’d ever met. And he always had my back.
“Yeah,” I said.
Uncle Frank stretched out across the bed, head on one hand. He looked so young, with his tousled blonde hair and clear blue eyes. Like a handsome college kid. His cheeks glowed pink. One hand reached out and took mine, his skin warm from a recent blood meal.
“Tell your Uncle Frank.” His eyes twinkled.
I sighed. And did. Everything. I poured it on him like I always seemed to, and he took it like always.
By the time I was done I felt better. Naturally. That was Uncle Frank’s real gift. He could absorb all my crap and help me see the brighter side of almost anything.
That’s why I was so shocked when he frowned at me when I was done.
“Syd,” he said, “don’t you think maybe you’re being a little hard on the guy?”
What? What! Uncle Frank was… what?
I just gaped at him.
“You yourself said he’s an outcast,” Frank said. “Looking for friends, just like you were once. Sure, he may be a little different, but we all are, aren’t we?”
“Did you hear what I said?” I was so shocked I could barely breathe. “He split up Pain and Blood.”
Frank shrugged. “You can’t control who you love, Syd.” He looked away, as though lost in his own thoughts for a moment, and I instantly worried about Sunny.
But this was all me at the moment. “Are you serious?” I pulled my hand from his and sat up. “The guy is a creep.”
Uncle Frank didn’t say anything for a long time. When he finally met my eyes again, he looked really sad.
“I always thought better of you, Syd.” And while I gaped at him, my anger growing, he stood up and left my room, closing the door softly behind him.
My pillow impacted it immediately after.
I sulked another minute before chasing after him. There was no way I was at fault here. No way.
I was almost to the kitchen when I heard talking. Something about the tone of voices made me hesitate and finally forget my own tantrum. I snuck close to listen.
“Where did she go?” Mom sounded really concerned. Since I was in the house I knew she wasn’t talking about me.
“I wish I knew.” Uncle Frank sounded very sad. It had to be Sunny. “She said she needed a night to herself and cut me off so I couldn’t find her.”
“I wouldn’t read too much into that,” Mom said. “You have no idea what she might be working out.”
“That’s the problem though, isn’t it?” Someone, I assumed Uncle Frank, slammed something into the counter with a loud bang. “She’s not talking to me about it. It’s like she’s restless this past week or so. As if something is bothering her but she can’t do anything about it.”
“You can’t protect her from herself, Frank,” Mom said gently. “She’s a big girl. With a past that runs far longer than yours. I’m sure there are things she’s never told you, things she’s ashamed of. You were fortunate she found you and brought you over. I’ve always had the feeling from Sunny that she didn’t have it so easy.”
He sighed, an odd sound from a vampire since he didn’t need to breathe. But some forms of expression remained even after undeath, I guess. “I know. I know, Mir. I just worry.”
I felt like such a loser. Here I was dumping my crap on him and he had his own stuff to worry about. I rushed into the kitchen, past my mother sitting at the table and to my Uncle Frank who stood by the sink. I hugged him as hard as I could, feeling his arms go around me, his hand stroke my hair.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered into his shirt, breathing in the subtle scent of his laundry detergent and the dry, dusty smell of his vampire skin. “Sunny will be okay.”
I pulled back and looked up into his eyes. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead.
r /> “Thanks, kid,” he said.
Mom was on her feet, swinging a cloak around her shoulders. “I have to go.” She sounded like she’d rather stay. Her eyes met mine and she smiled a little.
“That’s all right,” Uncle Frank said. “I do too.” He hugged me again quickly before doing the same to my mom. “Thanks for listening, Mir.”
Someone knocked softly on the door just as he turned to go.
Sebastian stood outside, sheathed in shadows, that soft glow I’d seen around him back again. Even Mom seemed to notice it, frowning as she stepped forward to put her arm around my shoulders.
“Sebastian,” she said. “Come in.”
“Not tonight.” His velvet voice sounded slightly rough around the edges, not his smooth self at all. “Frank, come.”
Uncle Frank hesitated only a moment. “Any word?”
The dark vampire shook his head. “Come,” he repeated.
Uncle Frank obeyed him then, offering a little wave on his way out. Mom took a step toward the door and Sebastian, but the vampires were gone in a flutter of shadow the moment my uncle crossed the threshold.
“So I’m not the only one who thought that was weird?” I met Mom’s eyes. She tried a smile.
“I’m sure it’s fine,” she said.
She was such a bad liar. But before I could press her for more information, she did what comes best and turned the conversation around to me.
Classic Mom behavior.
“Whatever happened today with your friends,” she said as she pulled me into a hug, “it’s not the end of the world.”
I nodded against her shoulder. “I know.”
“You need to strengthen your control.” She pulled back and stroked my cheek with her fingertips. “Syd, you are so powerful, I worry sometimes. Like tonight.” She sighed and let me go. “Can you please, please practice? I’ll feel a great deal better if I know you are.”
She was right. I resented it, wished she was wrong, but knew it was true. The memory of my demon taking over was enough to shove my distaste aside.
“Okay, Mom,” I said.
I watched her go before descending the stairs to the basement. Half way down I face palmed. Her neat and tidy distraction worked. Now I was as in the dark about Sebastian as before. Fine, if that was how she wanted to play it. I had other sources.
Mind you, I had a feeling Uncle Frank wouldn’t be filling me in any time soon either, not considering Sebastian was his leader.
All that went out the window when I reached the bottom of the steps. I felt the immediate push of power as I touched the floor with my bare toes. The pentagram in the middle of the concrete flickered once as I did, then fell still. I waved to my dad’s statue despite the fact it was only empty, cold stone at the moment and briefly considered raising him so I could talk. I had enough power to call him, even for a little while. But he was a Demon Lord of Demonicon, not just my dad, and asking him to cross planes because I was having a bad day seemed frivolous. Instead, I sighed and settled cross-legged in the middle of the pentagram instead.
Besides, raising my dad wasn’t practice. The hated candle sat before me, its fat, purple body almost taunting me, warped with melted wax and the pressure of my power.
“Okay, candle,” I snarled. “It’s just you and me.”
I drew a breath and focused my magic to light the thing. My shield popped into place the moment the wick burst into flame, fire happily answering my call as always. Summoning the spark wasn’t the hard part for me at all. Fire was one of my strongest elements, thanks to my demon blood. And the air magic holding the shield wasn’t so hard either. I was pretty strong in that element as well. No, it was the combination of the two causing me trouble. I’d managed to conquer this particular exercise, at least. But this was the first time I planned to add the next layer to the spell. Drawing a calming breath, I settled my power into the earth and raised the candle, still lit and surrounded by a glowing blue shield.
I had one moment to grin to myself it was working before everything crashed down around me.
***
Something wet dripped down my cheek. I brushed at it, impatient and irritated. I just wanted to sleep. But another fat drop hit my face, jerking me upright and awake.
The sun was just rising, lighting the back yard with a soft, yellow glow. The grass beneath me felt bristly from being just cut, smelling delicious. The drip I felt came from the bush I lay under, just enough of the night’s dew gathered to make a slow and steady fall of droplets.
It took me a moment to understand where I was. I looked down at myself, still dressed in the clothes I had on when I went to the basement. I remembered the candle, drawing on the earth. And then, nothing. Well, almost nothing. There remained a hint of a memory, a flash of something that felt like pressure inside my head. But that faded as fast as I clung to it. So, nothing it was.
Until now, that is. Somehow, I’d lost an entire night.
With a jolt of horror, I reached inside myself and felt for my demon.
For the first time since I could remember, she wasn’t arguing, growling, struggling or even complaining. The total opposite in fact.
My demon purred. In her sleep.
This was very, very bad.
***
Chapter Eight
Having my demon so quiet felt very disorienting. So was being physically exhausted, my muscles tired and almost bruised. I’d pretty much recovered from the attack by the Chosen, but this brought the whole thing back again.
My demon took me over and used my body for who knew what.
I rushed to the house, wet feet aching as they slid over the porcelain tile, desperate for Mom’s help. I felt her frantic touch even before I reached the back door. The weight of her emotions told me she knew something was really wrong.
“Syd.” She met me at the bottom of the stairs, arms around me instantly. I could feel her heart pounding as her magic enveloped me. “Where were you?”
“Smelling the roses, I guess.” Weak attempt at humor, yup. She shook me a little when she pulled back, a frown creasing her perfect brow.
“Sydlynn Hayle.” She wasn’t mad though. Just afraid. Her initial burst of worry vanished behind her coven leader persona, but I knew it wasn’t gone, just very well masked. “Tell me.”
I did. What I knew, that was. When I was done, I was shaking while Mom’s veneer slipped enough for her to chew her lower lip.
“This is more complicated than I thought.” She could say that again. Her Mom smile returned though the corners of her lips trembled. “It’s all right, Syd honey,” she said. “We’ll figure it out.”
She really wanted me to buy that? “Mom, my demon took me over. Again.”
She frowned again but her expression told me she was far away. “You should go get ready for school.”
What? “I can’t to go school like this. What if my demon wakes up again and takes over while I’m in class?” The very thought made me break out into a cold sweat.
Mom’s attention briefly returned. “Sweetheart, I’m sure whatever this is, it’s not what you think. The best thing for you is to go to school and try to forget about it.” It was only then I felt the subtle touch of her mind probing mine. So that’s why she was distracted. She didn’t believe me!
“You don’t believe me.” Amazing.
She sighed softly. “I believe something is happening. But Syd, from what I can tell, from what any of us have ever been able to tell, this feeling you have that your demon is separate from you is just your imagination.”
Did she really just say that to me? She wasn’t done.
“You may not know this,” she said in the most condescending tone I’d ever heard from her, “but when you were little you used to sleepwalk all the time. The back yard was your favorite place to go, for some reason. We would always find you outside.”
No, I didn’t remember. Was that my demon, too? The thought she’d been in control of me before, when I was an innocent kid, seemed eve
n worse somehow.
“I finally had to use magic on you,” Mom said, sounding slightly embarrassed. “It’s far more likely you saved yourself in that van. You were drugged, remember? And a huge stressor, especially after the trouble we’ve had… it’s bound to have consequences.”
I stopped to consider what she was saying, much to my own amazement. Was she right? Was this all just my mind trying to protect itself from the violence I did to the Chosen? Putting that onto my ‘demon’ side as an excuse for my own neurosis?
But she talked to me! Didn’t she? The alternative was the nut house and I wasn’t sure I was willing to accept that. Looking in my mother’s understanding and caring eyes, seeing the truth—she didn’t want to believe—I knew if I told her my demon was now having conversations with me in my head, she’d have me lobotomized.
Didn’t mean I was letting her have it easy. “Fine.” I jerked out of her grip and headed upstairs, surrounded in my own anger, shedding her grasping magic as I went. By the time I slammed my door behind me, the feel of her was gone.
She was wrong. She had to be. So what if I used to sleepwalk? This was different. Wasn’t it? I prodded at my demon knowing full well if Mom was right I was just feeding into my own insanity.
I couldn’t help myself. And if I was right, there was more at stake here. Who knew what my demon was up to the night before. I hoped nothing too embarrassing. Or dangerous. Or illegal. The cops hadn’t shown up, so that much was okay, at least for now. I hesitantly switched on the radio to the only local station, wincing as I caught the morning news. All normal in Wilding Springs. So demon Syd hadn’t done anything to warrant arrest or media coverage. So far.
Okay, so either she was a figment of my imagination or she wasn’t stupid about it. That helped calm my surging panic a bit. Still. Still. I couldn’t move past the feeling she took over my body and used it. My body. I refused to think it was her body too. I’d been using it happily for seventeen years, thanks. This was not the time for her to be messing around with ownership and control.