Divided Heart Read online

  I grinned at Sashenka as Tallah disappeared. “You’ve been here longer than me, looks like. Unpacked already?”

  The smile on Sashenka’s face was gone in a heartbeat. “I... yes.” Her energy shifted all of a sudden, from cheerful if nervous to downright awkward. What the hell?

  I paused, waiting for more. Sashenka just shifted from foot to foot, no longer meeting my gaze. Um, hello? What happened?

  “Guess I have my own unpacking to do.” I turned slowly from her, expecting her to say something. Anything. But Sashenka just bobbed her head, spun and rushed from the room.

  “Lovely.” I sighed and rolled my eyes at Charlotte. “Any clue what I did?”

  The weregirl’s gaze went to the door, face thoughtful. “No,” she said.

  Sometimes she frustrated me so much I wanted to shake her.

  “Fine,” I snapped, good mood shattered, hopes for a happy year fading yet again. “If you don’t mind, I have unpacking to do.”

  Charlotte’s expression flattened out and she nodded. She covered the distance from me to the door in three strides. I heard another door open and close firmly, presumably across the hall.

  Whatever. She could be as pissy as she wanted. I didn’t ask her to come here.

  Having fun yet? Gram’s magic wrapped me up, amusement obvious.

  I snarled to myself as I kicked one of the heavy suitcases. Yeah. Sure. Peachy keen.

  Demon child, she sent. Have some faith. In yourself. In this new adventure.

  I sank to the corner of my bed, struggling with tears. I don’t really need to be here, I sent back. I could just come home.

  Gram snorted. Like you’ve ever quit on anything in your whole life. Don’t start now.

  She was right. And it’s not like I hadn’t faced worse. It was just... I was hoping things would be different. Better. But so far, same old.

  Whiner. Gram’s tone was mild, but the accusation cut.

  Yeah. Guilty.

  She left me with a hug and a promise to keep me posted if anything happened in Wilding Springs. Like anything catastrophic requiring my particular skill set to deal with it. I could handle catastrophic, oddly. Had been through enough messes, disasters, near world-ending experiences that being in danger was the norm for me. This having to fit in stuff? I always sucked at it, no matter where we moved to, how many places, how many new schools.

  And yet, this was different. I’d be with other witches, so the natural repellant nature of my power wouldn’t be in play, the awkward feeling normals had around me no longer an issue. The students I’d be in classes with would be just like me.

  Yeah, time to pull it together. So my roommate might not like me and was just pretending so her coven leader sister wouldn’t know. Big deal. I could handle it.

  I shoved one of the boxes to make more room for myself and had to catch it before it fell. Still, a few things tumbled out, retrieved by my magic. Two photos, one framed in silver, the other in black, hovered before me and I found myself smiling again at last.

  The first was of Liam and me, standing under the archway at Wilding Springs High. Prom. He looked hot in his tux and vest, silver satin tie matching my shimmering dress. As much as my memory of prom from the year before had sucked, being dumped by Brad when my lack of power no longer attracted the football hottie, this year’s graduation, mine and Liam’s, was so much fun I actually hadn’t wanted the night to end.

  The other, chunky black frame rough around the edges, made my stomach tighten in a good way, my heart melt. Quaid sat on his motorcycle, dressed in delicious leather, the smirk I used to hate and now loved on his handsome face. I took it out of the air, ran my fingertips over his face, felt the connection between us thrum as I focused on him. The picture of Liam settled in my left hand then and, as I looked back and forth between them, I missed them both terribly, but in different ways. I knew Liam would love it here at Harvard and wished he could have joined me. As for Quaid, I just wanted to feel his arms around me, the way our power melded together, the caramel yumminess of him when he kissed me.

  My need for Quaid was strongest. On impulse, hoping he was here on campus already and no longer at the summer training camp, I reached down the connection to him.

  And found him laughing. But about what? Before I had a chance to explore further, his humor shut off abruptly, his public mind now closed though his magic reached out, full focus on me.

  A tiny hint of worry at what he hid from me was crushed under the rush of love he sent my way.

  I miss you. I wish it didn’t come out so soft and fragile. Whiny. I hated whiny.

  I miss you too. He didn’t seem to have the same problem expressing himself. Are you at school?

  I looked around the room, sighed. Just arrived. Are you here yet?

  Not yet. A foreign touch of magic, just a thread, stirred along our connection, but Quaid abruptly cut it off. I’m on my way. Should be there in the morning.

  Who are you with? Yeah, way to sound needy and jealous, Syd. But Quaid just sent more love.

  I’ll introduce you to the bunch when we arrive, he sent. You’ll like them, Syd. I already told them all about you.

  That made me feel better. I can’t wait to see you. Not whiny this time. Just true.

  Me too. I love you.

  Heart singing, I hugged him with my power. I love you, too. So much.

  See you the second I get there. Again that touch of foreign power. I have to go.

  Yeah, me too. I’m sure he knew I was lying. See you soon.

  His magic released me gently as he left. Why then did it hurt so much when he was gone?

  ***

  Chapter Three

  Unpacking took less time than I expected, and it wasn’t long before everything I had was in order. Turned out all the clothes fit perfectly inside the wardrobe, no doubt a quirk of living on a witch floor. Just when I thought I couldn’t stuff one more sweater inside, the hangers parted and room was made. As I stood back to close the door, I realized how much of a clotheshorse I’d actually become.

  Alison’s fault. I shied from thinking about her, setting the photos of the boys next to the one of Meira and me last Halloween, Gram sticking her tongue out at the camera in the background. I frowned a little, remembering how I’d looked for a picture of Mom, something to bring with me, but hadn’t been able to find one. Of Dad, either. Though my vampire Uncle Frank and his undead girlfriend, Sunny, graced my night stand.

  I pondered my computer. It would be easy to spend the rest of the afternoon and evening lost in video games or TV shows, but I felt the need to escape the room, to get out and explore. The moment I set tentative foot outside my door, Charlotte’s whipped open and she strode out to meet me.

  She didn’t say anything, just waited, blonde hair rippling with her slow, steady breathing. There were times, like this one, when she reminded me far more of the wolf she could become than the girl she was.

  “Hungry?” I didn’t wait for her to answer, knowing she wouldn’t bother. Charlotte was a person of few words and even fewer emotions, at least those that showed on her face or body. I’d gotten used to her stillness and quiet, the stoic way she did everything as though she was a carefully carved statue, much like the one housing my father’s soul when he crossed from Demonicon. But with Charlotte it was training, not stone or metal, causing her to appear so precise and near perfect.

  She trailed behind me as I stepped out into the Yard. I’d given up asking her to walk beside me long ago. Despite my insistence we be friends, Charlotte never treated me as anything but someone she had to protect at all costs.

  Hard to be chummy with her when I knew she would kill anyone who crossed my path the wrong way, guilty of a crime or not.

  Harvard Square called me, full of shops and cafes. We sat together at least and enjoyed a delicious bowl of pasta, though Charlotte naturally didn’t show if she liked it one way or the other, gaze constantly roving the surrounds though her body seemed perfectly relaxed. I knew the oppos
ite. Had first-hand experience with her particular brand of body guarding. Trying to clear the memory of a pair of football jocks back home who thought it would be funny to sneak up behind me and scare me.

  Yeah, I wasn’t scared. For myself. It took a few minutes to stop her, but by then they were already screaming.

  Fun times in Wilding Springs.

  As I dug into my meal, I suppressed a pang of guilt. I could have just gone to see Mom and Meira, had dinner with them. Or, at least, I assumed that was the case. But I needed a bit of time on my own, now that I’d shaken off my needy new girlness. And even when I’d finished my exploration of the square, returned to the Yard and passed Massachusetts Hall where Mom and my sister, demon cat Sassafras with them, were living, I kept going. The sun was just going down and I felt drained from the trip and my own upended emotions. Mom and I had our disastrous moments at the best of times, especially now she’d taken on the Council Leadership. The last thing I wanted was to top off my first day with a nuclear argument.

  The bathroom I shared with Sashenka was a generous size, the shower larger than I’d expected, a tiled stall with a seat built in. The double sinks left me enough room for my paltry collection of toiletries. I felt slightly in awe of the bags and cases of things on Sashenka’s side, all neatly arranged, but not as much as I might have a few years ago. I’d grown accustomed to such things because of Alison.

  Again with the ghostly best friend avoidance. I really had to do something about her, if only when I thought of my dead friend I didn’t have to feel guilt at keeping the echo of who she was here because of my own selfishness.

  Teeth brushed, I spent an hour or so on my computer before sliding under the covers and turning off the light over my bed. Sashenka still wasn’t back and I found myself stewing. I finally had to turn over on my side, back to the door, and force myself into deep breathing so my temper would cool enough I wouldn’t attack her the moment she appeared.

  Things were supposed to be different. Despite the warnings from all the well-meaning witches I’d spoken to, I was really hoping for a new best friend. I missed Alison most in the times when I just wanted another girl to talk to and, as naive as my expectations may have been, I was hoping my roommate might fill that void. Especially once I knew it was Sashenka. But now all the expectations were disappointments.

  I was tired enough the tactic finally worked, lulling me into sleep.

  ***

  A shrill scream jerked me out of a happy dream about a green meadow and something to do with butterflies that looked like Liam. My demon roared to wakefulness, shoving me up and out of bed, to land on the floor in a protective crouch while Shaylee’s Sidhe power called to the earth to ground us. The family magic quivered around me, threads of amber and green tracing through the blue as my eyes scanned the dark room, just enough light from my summoned power to show me the source of the scream.

  Sashenka sat on the floor next to her bed, dark eyes huge, staring, mouth still open, though her shriek cut off abruptly, her bed clothes piled on top of her. The door swung open, Charlotte bounding into the room, only to freeze as she took in the scene.

  “Nightmare.” Charlotte relaxed. “Are you well, Miss Hensley?”

  Sashenka shuddered, but looked embarrassed as she pulled herself up from the floor. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “It must have been.” Her neat and tidy sheets and quilt were a shambles, tangled up, half jerked to the floor themselves as if she’d fought someone in her dream. “Forgive me for waking you.” Her dark eyes turned to me, but wouldn’t meet mine.

  I huffed in irritation, but not because I was awake. “As long as you’re okay.” I waved to Charlotte who left without a word, pulling the door solidly shut behind her.

  “Yes, yes, I’m fine, of course.” Sashenka climbed back into bed. “I’m so sorry.”

  For what? Seriously, what was her problem? And was she crying?

  “It’s okay,” I said, trying to rein in my frustration. What was wrong with her? “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She shook her head so fiercely I just shrugged to myself.

  I slid into bed, curled up with my back to her, the same position I’d just left. I had to find a way to get her to talk to me, even if it was only to tell me she didn’t like me. That had to be it. She put on a show for Tallah, but now it was just the two of us, Sashenka obviously didn’t know how to say it. And here she was, trapped with a coven leader she couldn’t stand. Must be nice for her.

  But before I could go to poor me, my anger woke. She had no reason not to like me! I was awesome. Maybe it was some kind of hold-over from what Mom did, saving Dad by hiding the fact he’d used blood magic. But Tallah didn’t hold that against me. In fact, the entire Council ruled in favor of pardoning Mom as long as she took over leadership.

  I was about to roll over and confront the other girl, still sniffling in her bed, when she shrieked again.

  This time I was on my feet and at her side before she stopped screaming. I crouched next to her, taking her hands and pulling her up. “What happened?”

  Sashenka shook so much her long, dark hair swung around her hips. “I don’t know.” She burst into tears and fled from me, running to the bathroom. The light switched on, illumination cut off when she slammed the door behind her, only a crack of it showing through the bottom.

  Great. Hysterical for no reason. Maybe it wasn’t me. Maybe she was just nuts.

  At least I had experience with the mentally unbalanced. Speaking of which, I was about to reach for Gram for advice, her being the Queen of Crazy at one point, when something cold brushed against my chest.

  And the gem holding the vampire virus.

  Normally I would have felt guilty about what I was about to do, but I was still angry, the confrontation I’d planned with Sashenka cut short, so instead of being gentle I opened my magic and snatched the echo from the air, jerking Alison into view.

  So she’d followed me after all. And was obviously the source of Sashenka’s lack of sleep and floor tumbles. Alison must have been learning to use the bits of power she’d stolen from the virus before I’d shielded it against her.

  “Al,” I said, letting her hear how mad I was even as the bathroom door opened and my roommate entered. I heard Sashenka gasp while Alison’s lips twisted into a smirk.

  She’d changed, the ghostly remains of her distilling into her most negative traits. Petulance lined her face, pulling down her forehead, darkening her smirk even as she struggled to be the girl she’d been before she died. I could tell she fought against accepting she was dead, had been over this with her in the past. But she was dead, most likely a suicide, and the last remains of her refused to let go.

  I turned to Sashenka. “I’m the one who’s sorry,” I said. “Alison isn’t supposed to be here.”

  Sashenka hugged herself, pity in her eyes. “It’s all right,” she whispered.

  “No, it’s not.” I was in no mood to be kind, gaze returning to what remained of my best friend, summoned by Gram performing the necromancy she needed to save Mom’s life during the trial. Alison hadn’t been called, not like Quaid’s parents or my grandfather or even Naudia Purity. She’d simply been newly dead and felt me near her and came across herself. I should have sent her back then, but how could I when I still blamed myself for not being there for my best friend when she needed me? But at the moment all of my guilt and good will was nowhere to be felt.

  Alison squirmed in the grip of my power, transparency more obvious as she used her stolen strength against me in an attempt to escape. “I was just kidding around.” She focused on Sashenka, tried for a patented Alison Morgan 100-watt smile, but it fell far short, as much a ghost of reality as she was. “You know me, Syd. I’m just a kidder.”

  Desperation in her voice, the need to be accepted. And yet, the darkness in her would never let her rest. I knew it, it tormented me. But this wasn’t the time or the place to deal with it.

  “Just leave Sashenka alone.” I stepped back from Ali
son while her eyes narrowed and her generous mouth puckered.

  “New bestie, Syd?” Alison’s hiss had power behind it as she swayed just above the floor. “Traitor.”

  I sighed, all my anger draining away even as I let her go. “Just stop, Al. Please. You know you need to move on. Don’t make me force you.”

  She snarled at me, rushed me, but even as I raised my hands in an automatic gesture to ward her off, she shifted directions and blew through Sashenka before vanishing.

  ***

  Chapter Four

  Another round of apologies to my roommate did nothing to thaw the tension between us. Out of energy and really not caring anymore, I left Sashenka shivering and saying she was sorry—for what I had no idea—to once again curl up with my back to her.

  This time when I tried to call up sleep it ignored me completely. Partly because my demon was still riled and even Shaylee upset by what happened with Alison. I did my best to reassure them, but neither was really talking to me, so I just let them stew and settled into my own version.

  My thoughts went instead to Alison, to the vampire virus trapped in the jewel I wore around my neck. I glanced down at it, the softest of glows escaping the piles of shields I’d placed around it. I felt it at times, stirring, though there was no way it could break free. Or so I told myself.

  Despite what Dad said when he gave me the thing, trapped in a marble of stone after he and Theridialis tried to contain it on Demonicon, it turned out Sebastian and the vampires were unable to destroy it. In fact, Sebastian had a hard time being around me now, a fact which made me very sad. I adored the beautiful blood clan leader, was happy I’d found a way to free him from the prison he’d made of his body in an attempt to contain the very same virus. But the call of it, what remained of its residual energy inside him, pulled him in a way that made us both uncomfortable.

  Even Sunny and Uncle Frank had no luck. When they tried to touch it, the thing attacked them, shields or no shields, able to use its power on them despite my attempts to keep it under control. As long as it wasn’t around vampires, it seemed content to remain contained. So we decided—I decided—it was best if I dealt with it.